Tag Archives: life

Apr12

Google for Life???

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Google for Life???

Why is there no Google for every day things…like LIFE?  Maybe I am too reliant upon Google as it is.  I mean, whenever I need an answer I don’t think Oh I saw it in such-and-such a book..nope…I just think to Google it.  So you may be thinking what has brought me to this technological rant? I lost my book.

I have been reading a book for a couple of days in one specific room (not for any specific reason), and it has disappeared.  Since it is bigger than the kitten, I know she didn’t move it and the paper-eating dog hasn’t been in the room, but the book is still GONE.  I’ve ransacked the room and the entire upstairs with no positive results. Although I did find a sock I have been looking for for months.

After declaring my mind completely lost along with the book, my next though (I swear) was I wish I could Google the location.  Wouldn’t it be great when you lost something some magical search engine could help you find it? I haven’t really thought out if it would be a computer thing or a scream-into-the-sky-for-an-answer kind of thing, but I really want it.  And Google has the market cornered on search already, why not expand in to a new dimension…the real world?

Now I am not completely insane, of course it would have a child lock so the kids won’t be able to find their Christmas presents or their dad’s special magazines. I mean have some common sense here people!!  Now that I think of it, this could go the way of Bruce Almighty, where people search for money, lottery numbers, etc and the world would turn into chaos.  Chaos..shmayos…at least I would be able to find my freaking book!!!  It would be a great thing for crime too….Ask “Who killed JonBenet?” and somewhere a big neon arrow appears above someone’s head.  Case closed.  Plus, we will finally be able to see if Elvis is really dead or picking corn in Illinois.

Mr. Schmidt, if you have a minute, give me a call and we can talk about a plan for Google’s domination of reality.  I would love to continue this but there are some men here trying to get me to try on a nice white jacket with too many straps…maybe they will help me find my book!

Just so you know, in the writing of this entry, I used Google 5 times.  I think I need GAA (Google Addicts Anonymous)…STAT.

Mar6

You think your life is bad????!

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You think your life is bad????!

Lately, all the news has been doom and gloom.  The economy is in deep doo doo, businesses are closing left and right and Celebrity Apprentice is still being aired.  In these darkest of times, we need to be reminded that our lives could be worse.  I know it sounds twisted to get relief/happiness because of someone else’s bad fortune, but it helps!

A friend turned me on to a new website: Fmylife.com. It doesn’t stand for Family Life or For My Life, it stands for F$%! My Life.  Not being one who uses the F-Bomb I am thankful for the abbreviation.

It’s tiny stories about how others lives are worse than yours.  So your cat died, your car exploded and you broke a nail…I’m pretty sure you would find something on here that would make you think..”Boy, that sucks for him/her!”

For example:

“‘Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist’s advice? “Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that.‘ FML”

OR

“Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, “Beat ya!” She’s thirteen. FML”

Awkward!

In case you don’t want to wander around aimlessly, they even have the stories separated by categories.  You know, for those times when you want to know right away if there is someone else who’s boyfriend is cheating on them with his parent’s foreign exchange student…..that is a boy.

Maybe you are totally offended and think I am disgusting, but sooner or later your curiosity will get the better of you and you will find yourself giggling,….just like the rest of us!