Rather than discussing the annoying habit of standing up and sitting down in response to peer pressure at sporting events, the “wave” I am discussing is the thank you/you’re welcome wave while driving.  A simple gesture, a flick of the wrist really, is all it takes to acknowledge that someone paused (taking time out of their day) to say “you seem to be in much more of a rush than me” or “you A$$hole, you were going to merge in anyway, but I’ll kill you with kindness.”  The driving wave, a term I shall patent and make millions of cents from, is a common courtesy that seems to be going the way of a has-been celebrity.  They were once everywhere, but now you only see them once in a while when you least expect it.  The rarest form is the “you’re welcome” wave.  In my opinion there are a few versions of this that are hard to explain in text form, but  I hope you get the idea.

There is the nonchalant version which is just raising the 4 fingers simultaneously while holding the top of the steering wheel with your thumb and replacing said fingers on the wheel.  It makes the act of letting someone in to traffic seem very cool in a standoffish kind of way.

There is the perky wave which is a quick back and forth motion of the wrist while all five fingers are spaced equally apart in a single plane.  It says “OMG thank you so much for letting me by/in, I <3 you and your driving manners.” This is usually performed by the female drivers.

There is the guy version.  Without exerting too much energy, raise one hand with fingers curled in to palm, quickly extend fingers (each one touching its neighbor) and thumb exposing palm and then swiftly move hand out of sight while turning head to look in the other direction. The guy wants to show thanks, but doesn’t want to make it all emotional by long eye contact.

There is the rare cell phone wave.  This is when the person is too cheap to get a handsfree set or just too important that they can’t save their call for when they are not operating a two ton killing vehicle.  They will acknowledge your measly gesture by continuing to hold the phone to their ear with their thumb and forefinger, extending the remaining digits in a form resembling the “OK” sign.  Because in their book, you are just OK to them.

There is another “you’re welcome” version that involves only one digit (not the thumb) which everyone is familiar with.  This applies to both genders.  It says “I truly respect your A+ driving skills! You are definitely number one and I really needed to tell you so.”

Since most Bostonians aren’t using their hands to turn on their blinkers, maybe we should think of using them to toss around a driving wave now and then.