A funny thing happened on the way to my Associates…

I could write a whole long story outlining the events of today, but I will spare you my rambling prose and will give you the ADD version

1. Schedule said to show up at 8

-No staff was there

-No one answered the door

-When we finally got in to the classroom, we were told we should have been there at 9

2. We were told to show up in our “uniforms” (navy scrubs, sneakers)

-The 3 of us who actually did were told that street clothes would have been fine

3. You would think that a hospital owned facility would have lockable bathrooms

-You would also be wrong.  We were instructed to always remember to slide the little sign on the door to “Occupied” and if possible, have a buddy stand outside

4. Being the only one with more than 2 years of community college under her belt, I tend to think I’m the smartest student there…seriously.

5.  Regis College orientation is tomorrow, the school has yet to send me any information about my Stats class

6.  On the schedule for the next 3 weeks there are items such as:

-”Meet with Librarian”-to teach us how to cite texts

-”Jeopardy”-”There won’t be questions about where Marco Polo traveled….like to the pool”

-Pot luck lunch

- ~6 hours on aseptic techniques (i.e. washing hands)

-We got a sneak preview: pull down paper towel, turn on water, wet hands, get hands soapy, sing the alphabet, use paper towel to dry, turn off water and pull door open.  Pretty sure I don’t need 5 hours and 59 more minutes of instruction

-How to make a skeleton out of gimp (NOT a real item, but since everything else seemed camp-like, I wouldn’t be surprised if something similar existed)

7. The professor/director forgot where he placed his radiation monitor, on two separate occasions….within an hour (it was on his collar).

8. Our first unit was on communication: there is a sender, a channel and a receiver. All are affected by noise (aka distraction). The End.

9.  We can’t wear perfume because the professor/director has emphysema

10. We learned the history of buffalo wings

11. Supposedly the program is drowning in grant money yet:

-We are in the basement of a nursing home.  Our classroom is right off of the hallway they use to remove the residents who “permanently check out.”

-The “lunch facilities” include the Lawrence Memorial Hospital Cafeteria and 2 vending machines in a different building

-The fake skeleton has no head

-We are located right under the activities room for the blue hairs.  Today must have been aerobics because Macarena was blasting! We were also warned that Tuesday is hair salon day so we will detect an odor of “permanent solutions.”

-Because we are in said nursing home, in order to get to our classroom you need to enter two codes on two different keypads in order to open one of the doors.  If you don’t close it in 15 seconds, an alarm sounds. To get out of the same door, you have to press two red buttons simultaneously.  I’m wondering if they had a problem with run away alzheimer’s patients or something….

12. 3 administration=3 professors

-professor/ clinical coordinator

-professor/ Director

-professor/ student services coordinator

None of the above were able to figure out how to turn the AC on.

13.  Everyone in the class agreed that everything being said is being made up on the fly and that if nothing else it would be “interesting.”

I’m going to wait a few weeks before I declare a bait and switch.  I was supposed to get training in radiography, but was fooled in to clown college or a cult.